The Big Gesture

Living in the moment, a heated argument, hurt feelings, these and so much more can lead to a moment where the "big gesture" belongs. This thought has been racing through my mind for days now. The media has given the world a misconception of what the "big gesture" really is. As I'm watching this show on t.v. the guy goes running through the airport to declare his undying love for the girl. Reality, the gesture could be as simple as a text message.

Friendships are such an important part of a person's life. I used to fervently believe that a person could do just fine without the closeness of friends. In fact, a very wise man (my father) once told me that a fault of mine is that I tend to completely walk away and am able to cut someone out of my life entirely. He reminded me that this wasn't the way to build and keep relationships. Cognitively, I understand the concept and know that we as humans need people around us. God wouldn't have designed Eve if Adam would have been better off without her.

The disconnect between the heart-brain lately has been that after giving and giving and giving.... I think my heart tank is on empty. Yes, I realize that it's a very lacking description. There are times in people's lives that no matter the abundance of "I'm sorry" or "I love you" statements things can't be fixed. At what point does this occur. Since I know that I tend to walk away completely so quickly, the question for me now, is how long are you willing to wait?

We have those in our life that we see everyday, our co-workers, family, maybe even the neighbors. I can attest that geographical distance doesn't matter. My best friend in the entire world is over 8 hours away, and her wisdom and love are carried with me in my heart on a daily basis. Yes, money and schedules can interfere with how often we are able to visit one another in person, but there is never a question of commitment or love.

If an individual has the ability to haunt your mind, break your heart, and cause soul-searching .... is this a positive or negative?? All of these qualities are not negative in every situation. In fact, each can lead to personal growth and improvement. It's a line that separates the positive and the negative. No matter how many times someone argues there is a "grey" area... there is a breaking point. What is it? Do we wait for it? What if it's not even recognizable until it's too late? Yes, you can recover. I am living proof of that. Although it leaves a person skeptical and I guess a little too quickly to walk away.

Big Gesture & Line - what are you and where are you? I'd rather not find out too late. I have grown up since the last time I had to face you.... I think I am ready for you to make yourself known. I have dreams and goals... and right now you are affecting my reaching those. I'd rather that not be the case. Either make yourself known, or let me go.