It amazes me how two number 51, or I don't feel the same, you were wrong this time, etc. It seems that wherever we go we can be haunted by these symbols and characters that follow us around. Taunting us, reminding us of our dreams, failures, almosts, and successes.
What about the number 28. While I could give you a textbook list of accomplishes and other important achievements, I still can't answer the basic question "who am I" and "what do I want to be doing"? I love my job, but my dream job is to be a missionary out in the field doing God's work. I feel like somewhere deep down inside me it's there....waiting....my potential. I just stay so overwhelmed and struggling to stay afloat that it keeps getting pushed back. So the biggest number i see is zero- which is about my confidence level these days.
So if you see me I don't necessarily answer or response it means I'm in my own little world trying to make a peace with myself that will allow me to face the world. It is much harder for some of than for others. And lately it's been a real struggle. I am not the type to talk through things, and did quite a bit of that earlier....it didn't work out so well. So please pray that this slump will go away soon. And if you know me on a more personal level.... please be patient and forgiving if it seems like I am bailing on you. It's not that I don't enjoy speaking or being with you..right now I am just haven't to work a little harder on myself for awhile.
Yes, I need help and prayers. I am not ready to talk it through yet though, so please be patient. And I know you will try to be because I am surrounded by amazing people. I just wish I could be amazing for them back.
I think you're amazing.
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